Diary Entry #5

Alone.
Its crazy how I can be next to you and still feel alone.
I came to you so I wouldn't.
I came to you to take this feeling away.
To make me feel warm and loved and wanted.
This...this bed we sleep in, this bed we shared our most intimate moments in, that was once a safety net for me as you kissed me on my cheek and left me in it...feels no longer these things.
What have we become?
How did we let the world get involved so deeply that we let it slowly tear us apart from our hearts and what we once had?
What I want is security from you.
To know that you still want to do this with me.
As Aladdin held out his hand to Jasmine, stared her in the eyes and asked, "Do you trust me?" She took his hand and at that moment gave him her heart as well.
Well I don't want the feeling of emptiness and loneliness lurking when I'm with you.
So let's take it back before the world entered in and pick it up from there.
What I'm saying is I'm holding out my hand and asking "Are you forever in this until our carpet ride is over?"

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Like Sweet Morning Dew, I Took One Look At You & It Was Plain To See You Are My Destiny..

This song has been played out in my car for a week now. Miss 90s music. Music is rarely original these days...especially rap.

-Love In Peace Out

Bacon Is In the Air...Wait..HUH?!

So while some people on Valentine's Day was getting teddy bears and flowers and candy, my babe decided to be creative and get me two packs of bacon. I hated LOVED my gift! [Yeah, Im a different type of girl lol]. Here's the story...

See I'm not big on Valentine's Day because I think it's so commercialized [also why go all out on 1 day of the year when you're suppose to 365? Just saying.] I told him this and not to get me anything since it was our first holiday together. Well, yesterday he texts me telling me "Happy Valentine's Day" and that he has something for me. My facial expression --> 0_o Then he continues to say how corny it is and that I'm going to laugh. So I Get to his place and he gives me the card [which I loved because it really sounded like he would write] and presented me with a pink bag. Before I could open it he told me, "I didn't know what to really get you since you don't celebrate today and it came to me. You said this saying alot 'If the world had more ____, the world would be a happy place.' and so that's what I got you." I started laughing in disbelief. My saying is "If the world had more BACON, the world would be a happy place." [Bacon is the BEST food ever! Should go on everything!] I laughed so hard and loved him for it. That's not all he did. He tried to get reservations at an exclusive restaurant, but they were all booked so he is taking me later.

I thought it was so creative because it shows he listens and he knows that I have a weird sense of humor, but I know it's a day that's written down in my book. Even my mommy said, "Ooohkay. That was very creative of him. Certainly not original." Well, that was my V-day, how was yours? =)

-Love In Peace Out

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Sticks & Stones May Break My Bones BUT Chains & Whips EXCITE me... >=]

This bish better do the damn thing! YES! I love this WHOLE vid. Makes me want to be tied up and have someone just lick my tats while i try to escape...*crickets* HEY!... Don't judge me.


P.S. RiRi...I want that "Uncensored" shirt....gotta find that like ASAP.


-Love In Peace Out

MTV...Let Me See Some Ssskkiiinnn....

Sooo, I'm one of those rare people that actually watch MTV's new show Skins and hate LOVE it! Back in the day MTV had a show called Undressed and that is exactly what it reminds me of. More than likely because I went through the most awkward years in high school so I can relate to some of the stuff that goes down or I had friends that experienced stuff and I was along for the ride. In the second episode, they played many jazz/soul songs that had me dancing around my room in the groove. One song that played throughout was Marlena Shaw's Let's Wade In the Water [NOTHING like the gospel song]. A good song to play on a warm day like today I might add. Listened to a few songs by her and yes... she is pretty epic to me and is being added to my iPod as I write this. Check her out.

-Love In Peace Out

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Oh The Places You Will Go..

Been in the library recently [you know the place that's really quiet with the computers and the rows and rows of shelves filled with books...yeah] to do a little re-evaluating of myself. Who better to help you become a better person in life than Dr. Seuss? I sat in there on the floor for hours reading The Cat in the Hat, Horton Hears A Who, Green Eggs and Ham, and of course Oh The Places You Will Go. Reading these makes me think on how I view people and how people view me. It hits me. I have an AWESOME team that loves me for how smartassed, goofy, energetic, crybaby, crazyfaced, overemotional I am just as much as I love them. I'm DEEPLY flawed, believe me, but my imperfections make me perfect for me being the person I am suppose to be. Nobody else matters. And who am I to pick out others flaws? All I can do is embrace them with loving arms to be themselves. So MANY people try to fit in or stand out to fit in its ridiculous. Its like a reality version of the Stepford wives [GREAT movie. The original not the remake.] I just know that I'm on the right path to becoming myself. Realizing that gives that extra boost in life that takes you places you never imagined. Thanks Dr. Seuss may he rest in peace. =]

-Love In Peace Out

Lately....

Hey to my readers,

If you were wondering about why I'm so in love with love the past few entries to answer that question...I have no idea why. Its been on my mind to the point of obsessing over the past few months especially since it is technically "Boo Season" and all. BUT I've snapped out of it for now and am back on regular schedule with other things I'm working on on here. Bare with me for my romantic side WILL come back I just won't go into overload with it. Thank you so much for reading and being interested in my page. I truly appreciate it because I plan to continue to build this and keep it going. If you have any ideas or suggestions you would like to share please do! All are welcomed (except that negative ish..keep that to yourself and pray.) Hope all is well. Love yall!

-Love In Peace Out

Diary Entry #4

I awake.
Darkness fulfills the room & the contour of the objects around.  My aura seemed to be radiating, but then I discover that my body is locked into place.
I don't fight for freedom. I feel confined and yet comforted.
I hear a hard beating against my ear. The beats makeup a special song that's meant for me only at that very moment.
I come to realize there's a smile on my face. I look up to see you with your eyes closed shut expressing your deep slumber. Your arm around me tells me that you want to make sure I feel protected and secured. And the fact that you're even with me shows you care.
As I lay my head back down, my finger traces the dents and curves of your arm. The appearance of your veins, my eyes begin to follow. 
My mind begins to wonder about how wonderful you are: God-fearing and family/friend oriented. About how you want to see everyone succeed and if you're well-stabled you make sure that you take everyone you love along.
I see where life is taking you...taking me...and the possibility that our lives intertwined as it did. Ups and downs: plenty. Any doubts: not at all.
All the memories we've had overflow my mind. All the jokes of a future together and the plans we have...but I start to think we are meaning what we say, but we just joke to amuse the other. Only time will tell.
I take a deep breath that's mixed with your one-of-a-kind essence and I feel at peace and linger in the moment...until the light of the morning sun hits my eyes.
I awaken to find out you were just a beautiful nightmare and never there and I lay wondering will I ever see you again.

-Love In Peace Out

Diary Entry #3

Love...

Love is...

Love is war peace,

Unity.

Love is respect,

Lying Honesty.

Love is the combination of pleasure, fear, excitement, passion, & completion.

Love...

Love is...

Safe.

Security.
Love is free to be you stripped & raw.
Love is to be able to say "Here I am" & never look back.
Love is...
looking into their eyes & seeing yourself...past, present, & future.
(from my mind to your eyes)

-Love In Peace Out

New Year, New Love. . .Diary Entry #2

Laying down in the bed with the earphones connected to the iPod & this song came on.  This is one of my favorite songs off of Christina Aguilera's Stripped CD.  Being 4 years single, you sort of miss the feeling of being some one's significant other & all the sweet, personal intimacy that happens between two people that care for each other when no one is around.  Especially those wake up smiles & kisses meant especially for the cheek or forehead. But you know what? Those 4 years gave me time to learn myself & God more be comfortable before I share myself with anyone else. 2011 is a new born baby & there is AMPLE amount of time to weight out my options & see who I'll actually be in a relationship with. Who knows? Hopefully I can relate this song to him when he finds me.

             "Stripped of all make up. No need for fancy clothes. No cover ups. No push ups. With him I don't have to put on a show. He loves every freckle, every curve, every inch of my skin fulfilling me entirely & taking all of me in. He's real. He's honesty. He's loving me for me."

-Love In Peace Out

MUSiC,SH00TiNG STARS, & RENAiSSANCE. . .

#1 & #2: on my left hip: the shooting star represents the journey in life, crescent moon represents the phases in life, & the shaded stars represent stages of my life I have completed (child & teen for the simple people)

#3: On my left ankle: The music notes make up "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star", Its the first song iPlayed on the piano with my grandfather (My father figure)

#4: On my right side: The word means rebirth & through life you have to go through changes to become the person you were meant to be.

Soo. . . I took it upon myself to get my fourth tattoo this week on Monday. [Featured above with explanation] I absolutely LOVE the art of tattoos especially when the person creates the design themselves. Now I do believe that there is such a thing as too many or too much (cluttered tats for example). My main thing with tats is getting them because they have emotional meaning behind them.  Behind every tattoo there is a story of why it is there and I get so pulled in with evert tale.  You know the meaning of mine. . .so what is the story behind yours?

-Love In Peace Out